Essential Womanhood

Introduction
What is the difference between this picture and this picture? Well, quite a bit. Both are beautiful. But what happened in between them? Was this an overnight change? No, it was many days of gradual aging. Growth happens consistently over a long period of time.

What about these two things?

What about weight loss or strength training?

Life happens, not in the big moments, but in the daily actions. The almost monotonous tasks that keep us alive and help us grow. The greatest value for us comes from daily, regular things, not the extraordinary. And Mother’s Day is truly a celebration of that reality.

Just as we can appreciate the beauty of transformation over time, I want us all to appreciate the beauty of the ordinary sacrifice of motherhood. Of womanhood. Though we might feel that the responsibility of mothers is ordinary, the impact of a godly mother is extraordinary.

And that is because God gave wives and mothers as a special role that could not be filled otherwise. It is important for us to understand this reality if we want to appreciate and understand motherhood.

I want to stop and take a moment to do my best to help anyone for whom Mother’s Day is not easy. Being a mom and having a mom impacts us in the deepest parts of our souls. There is grace for you. My prayer is that regardless of what God has brought into your life up to this point, we would all see the glory and beauty of biblical womanhood.

In Genesis 2:18, God recognizes Adam’s need for help. There is no other being that can be what Adam needs and so God provides for Adam’s need by giving him his wife, Eve.

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Genesis 2:18

Women were created to help others.
Think of the nurse who willingly and skillfully does even humiliating things to help someone who cannot help themselves. What better picture of this kind of care than the mother who feeds, clothes, soothes, protects, cleans, and does so much more for her helpless newborn.

This beautiful picture is what God uses to help us understand what it means to gently care for others. Paul says he nurtured the Thessalonians like a mother does with her children, and Jesus said he wanted to gather Jerusalem to himself like a mother hen does with her chicks.

Even more than taking care of our needs, mothers teach us what it means to take care of others. They show us how to bless others by considering not just objective needs but their own subjective feelings. There is nothing like the care of a mother.

Was anyone else the kind of kid that ate crustless sandwiches? Uncrustables were after my time. But there were many “crust” situations in my life that my mom cared about. Now am I saying that I needed to be spoiled like that and have things the way that I wanted them like that? No, but I am so thankful to God that I have a mother who nurtured her children. Her actions proved that she cared for us in a way that could never be replaced.

Being a helper is a high calling. To help someone else is to be like God. Over and over again, God is called our helper. God provides and does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. And Eve was given to Adam for the same reason. This is the essence of what it means to be a woman, and it is a very important calling. Think of all the things which you have accomplished that you could not have done without help.

It is something that we all should do for others. Whether for our friends, our children, our spouses, our church family members, this is what it means to live life in community. The feminine role that only women can fill is a vital part of bringing together a community.

And today is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate the special ways in which women do this. We need to encourage mothers who are giving of themselves to their husbands and children. Our church needs to be a place where we honor the crucial work of moms and support them as much as we can. We need to teach our young women and girls that being a good wife and mother is way better than cranking widgets for a corporation. It is the highest calling for them and the most fulfilling work because to love, to help, to nurture is to be like Jesus.

Moms, do not be weary in well doing, for in due time you will reap if you do not faint. It is worth it!

So how can we be a church that teaches and supports biblical womanhood in the family? Scripture gives us the best way.

Please turn in your Bibles to Titus 2:4.

that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, Titus 2:4

Paul tells Titus, a young pastor, that he must teach sound doctrine so that the older women teach the younger women.

There is a unique ability that God has given to women to be able to teach other women. Not only was Eve given to Adam to help him in ways that no one else could, women are a gift to the church so that other women can be discipled.

In the church, women are to help one another to follow Jesus.
Isn’t a task at work so much more rewarding when you know you can do it well. Maybe even better than anyone else? There’s a special kind of fulfillment when you know a job might not get done if you don’t do it.

Ladies, we need you. We need you to teach the other ladies how to be godly women.

Pastors can and should teach about. Husbands should disciple their wives. But none of that can replace the ministry of a seasoned lady who has followed Jesus and knows what it means to care for her family.

For moms, eventually their children grow up. Their need for nurturing from their mom changes. For many moms, this change means that they may have more opportunity to now use the invaluable experience they gained in rearing their own children. If that is you, can I just tell you, we need you. Brookdale needs older women who have been there and done that and know how to help people.

An important group of people need to be discipled. If we are talking about sheer quantity of time, women tend to be the primary discipler of children. What could be more effective for the kingdom of God than investing in the godliness of our young mothers. They need you! We need you!

You might say, Pastor Will, I could never do that! I don’t know what to say! I wasn’t even that good of a mom! I’m not an example. Well, first of all, hold that thought. We will come back to it.

But more to the point, you have pastors and whole church that wants to support you. If this is something you want to do, please come talk to Pastor Thomas or me. Maybe we can connect you to have a conversation with another lady who has done this.

But at the end of the day, I think we need to remember a practical lesson of parenting. We learn by doing! Did you ever feel all that prepared to be a parent? Mom, did you ever feel totally qualified? You have the Holy Spirit and a complete copy of God’s truth!

As I have said before, it starts with relationship. Engage. Take an interest in a young mom’s kids. Encourage moms when you can tell it was a long Sunday or Monday morning. Pray for them and tell them that you are praying for them!

This is discipleship really. It’s helping people take their next steps in following Christ. And any time you help a mom raise her kids to follow Jesus, that is what you are doing. This form of discipleship is so vital.

So what is it exactly that we hope older women can teach younger women to do?

It’s what Eve was created to do. It’s helping.

The responsibility of womanhood is to love husbands and children.
I find it interesting that Paul describes the work of a mother in this way. “Loving.” Have you watched a mother love their children? Do they look like they are having a good time?

Well, sometimes no. Sometimes everything is a mess and everyone is crying. Praise God for loving mothers in those moments.

But you know what I am getting at. Have you seen a mother in love with her children? Can you see how they were made for that? Do you think they will experience that anywhere else with anyone else?

This is who you are ladies, and it was why you were made.

This is how a Christian author and speaker named Susan Hunt put it:
“We must teach our daughters that their value and identity lie in the fact that they are image-bearers of the God of glory. This will protect them from seeking significance in the inconsequential shallowness of self-fulfillment, personal happiness, materialism, or others’ approval. Our daughters must know the wondrous truth that their overarching purpose in life is God’s glory.” - Susan Hunt

She brings up two great points about how ladies must think rightly about themselves.

First, identity. Who are you?
What is the default way that Americans define their identity? Often, when meeting someone, we ask them, “So what do you do?” Our society is so greatly influenced by the free market, that we think of our value based on the value that we bring to the marketplace. And so many women are deceived into believing that loving your husband and children, serving them, is less valuable than a middle management position on the corporate ladder.

It is not wrong for a mom to get a job. I do not mean to say that, but I am convinced that my culture has bought a lie about where our identity truly is.

Ladies, the Bible has so much more to say about who you are. You are made in the image of God, regardless of your occupation and family life. Your worth does not come from how much money you make, how prestigious your job is, or how you measure up to successful men.

And beyond that, we need to understand who we are in Christ. We are children of God, joint-heirs with Christ. We have been chosen by God. We are fully accepted and loved by God because of Jesus’ righteousness before the Father.

The Gospel is a statement of our value before God based on Who Jesus is, not based on anything else, even motherhood. When Jesus died on the cross, and rose again, He paid for our sins and united us to Him. Anyone who depends upon Him, and turns from their sin has become fully identified with Him, above all else. When we ask the question who am I, a Christian must say first and foremost, I am a child of God.

This frees us. Now, men and women can be what God has called them to be, and to do what God has called them to do. According to Paul, what does sound Gospel teaching cause women to be and to do? To enter into a church community that supports loving a husband and children to the glory of God. If we are who God says we are, because of the image of God and the Gospel, then women are free to joyfully be the helpers God made them to be, regardless of what the world says about female empowerment.

Jesus calls you to be a helper, to love children and husbands. Our pagan culture has no authority to contradict what God says and call you to find value outside of that.

Secondly, purpose. Why are you here?
If our purpose is self-fulfillment or personal happiness, then why would you be relegated to helping someone else? Don’t you have your own goals? Shouldn’t you have the chance to be the main character? Why not you?

But if our goal is the glory of God, if that is where it all ends, everything changes. We can glorify God in whatever we do, especially whatever he calls us to do. Humbly submitting to God’s role for us reflects Jesus’ humility. What can bring more glory to God than joyfully trusting Him so much that we do what He says.

You see, understanding our identity and purpose help us to accept God’s plan for women to be helpers, loving their husbands and children. And to appreciate the immense value of godly motherhood.

Yet, these two biblical concepts can be massive points of struggle for some. I’d like to take a moment to address some of these people.

Some people wonder where they fit in all of this because, for whatever reason, they do not have a husband or children right now. Is it fair to these people to say that the responsibility of womanhood is focused on husbands and children if some don’t have them? Does this make you second class citizens?

Now, it is true that being a wife is mother should be normal. Generally speaking, that kind of life is the plan for Christian women to glorify God. But husbands and children are not ends unto themselves. The point of all that God in His providential control, goodness, and wisdom brings into our lives is for us to glorify Him. And sometimes, His plan for individuals is different than what the Bible seems to indicate will be the norm.

By the same token, I won’t deny that my goal in this sermon is to encourage all women to appreciate the beauty of being a wife and a mom. For most people, living out your identity as a child of God and in Jesus, and fulfilling your purpose of glorifying God means being the best wife and mom you can be. For some though, God has given you other ways of following Him.

For anyone who does not right now have a husband or children at home, whether you have had them at one point or not, can I encourage you with this? You may not be able to love or help people in that way, but you certainly can disciple younger women. You can invest the resources God has given you in the next generation. That is the design that God gave in Titus 2, and it is a beautiful one! God has made you, ladies, with a unique and wonderful nurturing, loving disposition that men just don’t have! Use it! Bless young women in the Lord by using it to help them be the best followers of Jesus that they can be! We need it.

Furthermore, I want to remind you of a passage.

So Jesus answered and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel’s, who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time—houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions—and in the age to come, eternal life. Mark 10:29–30

Jesus said that we will receive a hundredfold of those things now. The primary fulfillment of that promise of children in this life is within the church. God uses relationships of care, nurturing, and helping that spiritual moms can provide. Of course, there are boundaries we want to be aware of, but a godly woman can have a profound impact on others as she uses the ability to nurture and care for others in an appropriate way. Titus 2 describes just one of the many ways that ladies can have an impact on others within the church.

I would like to briefly address one more group that might have a hard time with this message. Some people struggle because some experience of motherhood has been a source of pain for them. There could be so many reasons and I don’t have time to address them all. If you have experienced this, you know who you are. The Bible has so much grace to help you. I just want to take a moment to encourage you with the Gospel.

Jesus died for your sin and rose again. If you have believed on Him as God and savior, you are one with Him. He is redeeming all of the pain you have experienced for His plan to make you into the best woman of God that you can be. Trust and rest in that. It doesn’t take the pain away, but I pray the Gospel helps you to not give up. Keep hoping on Jesus.

Maybe you have a hard time thinking about being a godly wife or mother because you feel you failed in this area. The Gospel redeems those things too. There will always be consequences for our actions, but for those who are in Christ, God’s grace is greater than all our sin. Even our failure can be redeemed for God’s glory. Move forward to follow Jesus by helping others however you can, and maybe God can even use your personal experience as a wife or mother to help someone else.

Conclusion
It is so important for ladies to support other ladies as they seek to love husbands and children well. I fully recognize that as a pastor, I can stand here and talk about women fulfilling their calling, but it is another thing entirely to know what that feels like and how much it takes. Don’t get me wrong, I believe it is biblical for me to preach this kind of message, but I must acknowledge what the Bible says. There is something that a woman who has been there and done that can do that I never could. They know the daily labor. They know the sleeplessness. They know the heartache and deep emotional care that really can’t be explained.

I am reminded of my own mom. And the ways she impacted me that I can’t really explain.

What the mother sings to the cradle goes all the way down to the coffin. - Henry Ward Beecher

The songs that my mom used to sing to us are deep in my soul. Every day, dropping us off at school, she would say “Jesus loves you and mommy loves you.” That’s discipleship. That’s nurturing, helping. That’s essential womanhood. Let’s pray.